I fell off the wagon. Is it that bad to be an alcoholic?? I ‘m at the point that I know that if I don’t control it now I never will and that’s got me thinking is it really such a bad thing

I mean its something; the abyss that is my life is never going to change, time has taught me that. So in this abyss that is my life theirs the drinking and well the merry making.

Okay so there’s only the drinking minus the merry making my Saturday’s aren’t exactly busy. So over the years as friends have been ribbing me about it I have made some quips which I would like to share. * Please note that this is all part of my efforts to reform myself and none of these should be used on your friends the well-meaning souls that they are things like ”When life gives you lemons, ask for vodka and salt.”…”Smirnoff?? When you’ve known him as long as I have its Pierre”………”Beer, you don’t buy it you rent it.” And many more, which once you get to know me better, I will impart further.

They have worked well until of course you are faced by an intervention headed by your best friend. And here’s my argument……… its Bloody something isn’t it?? It’s a hobby, a drive, a goal, a challenge it’s a bloody something. My friend is a well-meaning guy who unfortunately has seen alcoholism first hand at home. So I did consider all of their words and advice, usually it’s the other way around I am the one doling out the advice. So I did it, I stopped cold turkey.

Had a nice run too 1 month and 23 days to be exact. Last night is when I fell off the wagon. And so I must say it was good for a while, I was all right for a while. It was Pierre and me just like old times. But sometime later I realized I wanted to stop, I wasn’t enjoying it anymore. It wasn’t exactly how it used to be. Don’t get me wrong there’s a lot to be said about the feeling of being comfortably numb, but I was already there and I didn’t want any more. I couldn’t explain it, this that was my something, was now a teenage girl’s whatever. Sigh! And then it hit me “does this mean that I am growing up or something like that?” maturity and all that crap. Cause if it is I’m gonna kick my well meaning friends a**.