I have been acting strange…someone used the word bizarre. I hate to agree but I am going to have to. I have refused to forget …I can’t get past it. I have thought about forgetting it all, burying the hatchet and just speaking to her. But….sigh.no

I have very simple rules. I have said before I am not a religious guy…faith yes. My faith lies in my friends. I am someone who places friends first and then comes family, a pretty distant second. So the rules are very simple. You don’t mess with my faith.

She messed with my faith. When I think about it …I have forgiven but the forgetting part is where I am experiencing a slight hang up. Just when I feel that I am over it something in the universe creates a subtle mark that then leads me right back to it.

I am exhausted of being me; yes this is very much me. no one can help me with this. So I sit and wait till someone puts me out of my misery. The most miserable thing is that it has affected my friendship with my best bud. I have questions to ask, but then I think about it and say to myself …it’s not my place to ask.

We have shared some of the greatest moments of our life together. Wrote our first song together. My brother in soul…ha. We picked out “The Walrus” together and his “Rose of Rebel” too. It’s different now. That subtle mark feels like a growing blot.

I am reminded of Frank Sinatra’s song “here’s to the losers”…on that note…so here’s to those who drink their dinners…………………….

Here's the last toast of the evening, here's to those who still believe
All the losers will be winners, all the givers shall receive
Here's to trouble-free tomorrows, may your sorrows all be small
Here's to the losers, bless them all